IC Contact / Voicemail

[tipsygnostalgia]

Roxy is busy right now
but leave your message here and she will get back to it once she is no longer blackout drunk
or fuck deep in meowcats

Comments

[tipsygnostalgia]

yeah he is actually
irony + puppents + shades are pretty much the holy trinity of dirk
how dod you knwo that?
*did
*know

[speakveryclearly]

It So Happens That Dave Had A Guardian
His "Bro"
Who Instilled In Him A Perpetual Need To Wear Cool Shades
A Perpetual Desire To Be Ironic
And A Perpetual Fear Of Puppets

How Do You Feel About Mind Games

[SLOWLY BUT SURELY THIS IS DAWNING ON HER... GIVE HER... A MOMENT MORE...]

[tipsygnostalgia]

ok so youre saying that dave
as in dirks bro
also had a bro who was like dirk
whereas i have a daughter thats like my mom



ok wait i think i am
coming up w/something here

also what do you mean mind games

[speakveryclearly]

That Is Probably What Im Saying

By Mind Games I Refer What Your Species Is Sometimes Prone To Call Passive Aggression
It Can Manifest In Many Physical Forms
Among Them
Statues Of Wizards
Ponies
Cats
Lavish Clothing For All Of The Above

[It's a shame this isn't video right now because if it were Roxy could see Kanaya's face and perceive that she is OVER TEN THOUSAND PERCENT serious about this question--]

Ms Lalonde
Are You Drunk

[tipsygnostalgia]

yeah i am but that doesnt mean what im saying is false
its just
i think that maybe the rose and dave you know are maybe from a different space frog?/
or i mean the same space frog but a different part
becaause my alian friend also told me abou that and how theres different versions of the uninverse and even though its batshit crazy
it has to be the only explanatinon?
*explanation
aside form the one where i am like roses mom as well as roses daughter then she is a clone of my duaghter
i am just trying to
make snese of this weird shit
* sense

and yeah those sorts of mindgames are hella fun i think but i didnt ctiviely take part in any
only faje ones
*fake

[speakveryclearly]

Im Sorry I Didnt Mean That As A Moral Accusation
My Best Friend Is A Recovering Sopor Slime Addict
I Meant It Only As Yet Another Characteristic Traditionally Attributed To Roses Mother
In Addition To A Roguish Hairstyle And Classy Choice Of Oral Cushion Maintenance

I Think
Somethings Going On Here
That Is As You Suggest Related To The Unending Machinations And Batshit Craziness Of The Universe And The Place Bilious Slick Has As It In Particular
Because Theres No Other Way That The Dates Could Contradict Themselves The Way They Do
That Rose And Dave Could Have Grown To Adulthood On Earth As I Knew It
After The Reckoning And The Scratch Occurred
Unless They Traveled To A Different Earth
If They Escaped The Scratch Somehow

Or Maybe They Just Escaped The Reckoning
Its Easy Enough To Subvert The Meteors That Are Its Primary Tools
A Powerful Psionic Can Change Their Course At Will
They Dont All Have To Go Through The Designated Portals
A Particularly Reckless Individual Could Concoct A Dangerous Plan Such As Daring To Escape On One Herself
It Is Exactly The Kind Of Daring Thing Rose Lalonde Might Do
Maybe

I Can Feel Us Getting Somewhere
The Fog On The Fenestrated Plane That Looks Onto Understanding Is Slowly But Surely Fading Away

[tipsygnostalgia]

oh man i think i need another drink 2 try and start making some sence out of this actual clusterfuck
i really dont know thoguh
i just know that somehow they knew me and dirk would be around centuries later
since they stored our apartments w/stuff to help us survive
they as in my mom and dirks bro
where as mr crocker and jakes grandma were taken in by the batterwitch as kids for whatever reason
i jus dont see how they could have played the game and then
done the whoel coming back to earth thing and somehow rewinded things

arch this is confsign
*c ofnsing
..
* confusing
there we go

[speakveryclearly]

What I Know Is This
At The End Of The Game The Reckoning Occurs And Meteors Are Sent Out
And Some Of These Bear The Players To The Locations At Which They Believe Themselves To Have Been Hatched
Or Rather Born
With Neither Technically Being True Due To The Games Ectobiological Conceit

And So What I Believe To Have Occurred Is As Follows
Note That Even Though This Appears To Be Stated As Fact Its All An Elaborate Conjecture
Commitment To Form Can Make It Hard For These Things To Be Made Clear So Im Doing That Now
That Said

On Earth You Live Out Your Life As Rose Lalondes Mom And Likewise For Dirk As Daves Bro
I Know John Had A Grandmother And I Believe Jade Had A Grandmother As Well
These Four Human Children Play Sburb
They Fail Miserably
The Reckoning Comes Far Too Early And They Cause The Scratch
The Former Will Destroy Their Planet By Meteor And The Latter Will Obliterate Their Entire Universe Or Something Of Similar Order
What They Didnt Know Until It Was Almost Too Late
And It Was Too Late To Inform Us Trolls Their Patrons
Is That After The Scratch Their Planet Will Have Some Sort Of Second Chance Through Reduplication Regeneration Or Some Other Similar Shenanigan
And The Seer Of Light Discovers This
The Four Children Co-Opt The Meteors And Crash-Land On The Second Earth
This Is Years Earlier Than When They Landed The First Time They Were On Meteors Of Such A Type
But If Theyre Going To Be The Guardians This Time
Then Who Will Be The Youths They Raise To Play The Game

And This Is Skaias Stroke Of Genius
It Sends Out Clones Of You Dirk Jane And Jake As Well
To Grow Up As Children Again In This New World Under The Influence Of Guardians Who Have Already Played The Game
To Take Advantage Of The Most Modern Technology Possible While Their Think Pans Were Still Plastic Enough For This Endeavor To Yield True Growth
To Play The Game And Hopefully Not Fail So Miserably This Time As Your Predecessors Did

What Do You Think Of This Hypothesis
I Feel It Could Use A More Elegant Diagram But Other Than That I Think The Theory Just Manages To Hold Water

[This is her MASTERPIECE here it took a while to type sorry Rox]

[tipsygnostalgia]

holy SHIT that was some serious tl;dr there
hang on a sec ive gots to try and read through this proeprly
* properly

[speakveryclearly]

[Wow, Roxy, ruuuuuude.]

Ill Wait

[tipsygnostalgia]

[okay]

are you saying i was ectoborn on a meteor
and not thru the batterwitch alien breeding programme

[speakveryclearly]

Yes Thats Probably What Im Saying
The Ectobirth Scheme Is Common To Most If Not All Sburb Players From What I Understand Anyway

[tipsygnostalgia]

funnily enough there was ectoequip in the lab nesr my house
ectobred a whole lotta cats w/ it

[speakveryclearly]

Another Secret Lab
Oh Boy
Playing This Game Is Rather Like Being In The Audience On That One Show
The One Troll Oprah Winfrey Ran
EveryOne LOOk Under YOur Hives
YOu Get A Secret Lab
And YOu Get A Secret Lab
EveryOne Gets Secret Labs

[tipsygnostalgia]

lmfao oyu know you could be right

you know youre pretty funny
i dont know why eridan said i shoudlnt hang out w/you

[speakveryclearly]

[--oh. Did he, now.
Pause.]

According To The Other Trolls He Has Reasons
Theyre That Rare Kind That Are Simultaneously Unquestionable And Entirely Unsatisfactory

But I Guess Im Not Surprised He Said That

[tipsygnostalgia]

he thinks you want to kill him and said you mgiht wanan chainsaw me ebcause of being his magical apprentice or soething
*something
wait *magiscience

[speakveryclearly]

He Has A Very
Very Good Reason To Think That First Thing
One Quite Personal In Nature Such That Id Rather Let Him Choose To Tell Or Not Tell You At His Discretion
Since I Believe In Not Dispersing Information Of A Private Nature Without Even Knowing Whether It Applies To Or Is Approved By The Parties Involved
Unlike Some Trolls

[Did she say too much OOPS NEXT SENTENCE!! It is sent as a 1/2 2/2 type thing]

But It Would Be Pretty Hard For A Statement To Be Further From The Truth Without Trying
And So The Second Thing Obviously Has No Basis Either
If Anything Your Connections To Our Universe Make Me Want To Be Your Friend Even More
Whatever Form Said Connections May Take

[tipsygnostalgia]

idk much about it he just said you wanted to chainsaw him
plus i sort of get how he could prooke that sort of reactin from folks tbh

so you dont feel like chainsawwing me up
good thats what i like to hear
beleive it or not im much more content speaking w/ non murderhappy trolls

[speakveryclearly]

If There Existed A Form Of Anti-Chainsawing That Was The Diametric Opposite Of Actual Chainsawing
To Prove My Point I Would Do That To Him
And Perhaps Even You For Good Measure

I Know We Seem Hard To Come By But Id Like To Believe Its Mostly Circumstantial

[tipsygnostalgia]

its cool i think i belive you
i mean like fishgirl wants to stab me so she just outright says it so i reckon if you wanted to do that same youd just say it to

yuou guys are p cool though
girls also
i mean the perverse incindents aside i actually got along lots w/the trolls that were here
* incidents

[speakveryclearly]

Yeah I Mean
Its Been A Few Days
If I Wanted Either Of You Dead It Very Well Might Have Happened Already

Do The Perverse Incidents By Any Chance Refer To Equius

[tipsygnostalgia]

yes they do refer to him
howd did you know
;D

[speakveryclearly]

Hes Just Earned A Reputation Among As The Troll With The Greatest Amount Of Perversities
Such As For Instance A Predeliction For Standing In Places
And Watching
It Makes Us Uncomfortable When He Stands There
And Watches

[tipsygnostalgia]

and the ordrering abound
* around
but yeah the trolls i aready now i p much like them theyre fun