IC Contact / Voicemail

[tipsygnostalgia]

Roxy is busy right now
but leave your message here and she will get back to it once she is no longer blackout drunk
or fuck deep in meowcats

Comments

[biifurcatiion]

What if they get more interethting and appealing the more I touch them, though?

[tipsygnostalgia]

Hah, you wanna touch them so bad. Maybe if you ask nicely.

[biifurcatiion]

I'm not that intrigued by alien xenobiology. Not enough to beg for you.

[tipsygnostalgia]

Too bad for you then.

[biifurcatiion]

[He rolls over, back onto his back, shooting her a narrow look out of the corner of his eye.]

Theriouth quethtion. You really looked at what I look like?

[tipsygnostalgia]

[She chews on her bottom lip for a moment, deciding whether to answer truthfully or not.]

Yeah, I did.

[biifurcatiion]

[He looks at her for a long, long moment, his eyebrows slowly creeping up towards his hairline.]

Like deliberately?

[tipsygnostalgia]

Uh.. no? Not really? I just happened to see. [No it was deliberate.]

[biifurcatiion]

Uh, I know what my junk lookth like, I don't know how you would jutht happen to thee anything. Unlethh you did thomebody weird like thtroke my hornth enough to get excited, which I would not put patht you.

[tipsygnostalgia]

Why are we even talking about this?

[biifurcatiion]

Becauthe I athked, and you boob blocked me. And I wanted to know.

[He's not actually as bothered about it as he thought he'd be, though, despite the glaring invasion of privacy and how private he normally is.]

[tipsygnostalgia]

[Well in that case..]

...If you must know I tried to have a proper look, but then it just weirded me out because.. well, I guess because it was you and not just some random body of someone I don't know.
So I got like a half look in true Sollux style.

[biifurcatiion]

[That gets him to laugh, huffy and amused, snickering under his breath.]

Ok, fair. [He pauses, and adds, much more seriously:] I didn't actually look. I mean I had to change out of one of your clotheth, at one point, and like, figure out how to actually uthe the load gaper, but it wathn't like I jutht kept feeling you up for the hell of it. It would have been. Wrong? Even for thith. [Hmm, there's a thought.] Blackrom, it'th not like athhault, you know?

[tipsygnostalgia]

Yeah. It felt wrong. And I know it's not assault it's... I don't know how to explain. It's different from the type of dislike where you actually want to hurt someone permanently, or enough so that they don't want anything to do with you, right?

[biifurcatiion]

Right. It'th no good killing your kithmethith, then you don't even have one to fuck around with. Only idiotth think murder ith actually emotionally fulfilling in any way, which I guethh meanth I jutht dethcribed literally two thirdth of my thpecieth, but whatever.

[tipsygnostalgia]

If I didn't know any better I'd wonder how the fuck your species survived so well what with the penchant for murder running wild in most of you.

[biifurcatiion]

Even pthychopathth need thomething to fuck thometimeth?

[tipsygnostalgia]

...Have a point, I guess. Then they get to have super, doubly psycho kiddies to continue their legacies of chopping people up and burying them in the troll woods.

[biifurcatiion]

Thomewhere on the planet that wath probably a thuper attractive gethture of romantic intent, or thomething. We're tho fucked up.

[tipsygnostalgia]

So gross. Why does that not even surprise me?

[biifurcatiion]

Becauthe you grew up under our Emprethh, and thhe'th a freak?

[tipsygnostalgia]

Which is kind of funny, all things considering. You know she banned humans from having sex? She was so grossed out by it.

[biifurcatiion]

[That gets him to sit up next to her, a weirdly uncertain look on his face.]

Why, what'th tho grothh about how you guyth have thex? Bethideth the parathitic mode of reproduction thing.

[tipsygnostalgia]

Nothing! Your Queen was just a delusional nutjob. Or maybe she lied and only banned it since she was so jealous she wasn't getting any.

[biifurcatiion]

Heh, well, thhe'd never thtoop to the liketh of fucking around with thomeone who wouldn't even be conthidered a perthon. [He pokes at her side gently.] Or thuppothedly thhe would, but not mammalth, that'th practically beathtiality.